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Your Road to Success – Effort, Faith, Heart, Soul
Do you enjoy the work of Wayne Dyer, who tells you that the only factor that stands between you and success is your own attitude? Do you agree with Marianne Williamson that all you have to do is believe in yourself and pray, and money and opportunities will just fall into your lap? Is The Secret your bible? Do you believe that all you need is hard work? Do you think that if you quit your job and become an entrepreneur, that you are guaranteed a successful outcome because you are a really, really hard worker AND you totally believe in your product and service, right down to your cellular DNA AND you visualize total wealth and success six times per day?
Well, good for you. Glad you got what you wanted. This discussion is not for you. Go watch television or plant a garden. The rest of you – get a nice mug of something and let’s talk reality.
What is success REALLY a result of?
Theory 1: All you need is attitude. All you need is strong belief. If you really want it enough, it’ll happen.
It is completely true that a positive, upbeat attitude attracts people, including customers, referral sources and business partners. A negative attitude repels same. Spending time in meditation and other stress-reducing activities like exercise also promotes clear and creative thinking, which can lead to breakthroughs.
Is it true that you can summon miracles at will? Well, I believe in miracles. The thing is, I believe that miracles happen when the Universe decides that it’s time for one. YOU are not in charge of the Universe. All the people who write bestsellers telling you that you can create any outcome you want [The Secret comes to mind] are telling you how to engage in magic. While I do believe in miracles, I most emphatically do not believe in magicians.
Some folks see miracles as the manifestation of the grace of God. They are. However, don’t demote God to an order-taker. Miracles don’t happen because you demand them. They happen because they are part of a larger Plan. [In my case, it’s not God – there is none – but karma – which is a law like gravity.]
Theory 2: All you need is hard work and lots of it. If you fail, it’s because you didn’t really commit to the outcome and do whatever it takes.
While it is completely true that hard work and lots of it is frequently a major component of success, it is manifestly not true that people who don’t get what they wanted did not work. In fact, that belief is not just wrong, it is terribly, terribly cruel. There are millions of people working very hard who will not succeed at their goal because a mathematics larger than themselves will defeat them. Whether you believe in market forces, karma or a combination of the physical and the mystical, the fact remains that YOU are not in charge of the Universe. We have meds for people who think they are all-powerful and all-knowing beings. Take them. I know that Marianne Williamson says that you are powerful beyond belief, and when she says that, she (I sincerely hope) refers to your mind, which can interpret all setbacks as learning objects, and try again.
Or stop struggling so hard, be still and listen. Many of us are intent on brute-forcing reality the way we want it to go. We don’t know how to say “enough” and let go. Want an example? I recently moved to a new state to accept an outstanding offer from a truly unique and wonderful man who’s crazy about me but has an immovable job. So everyone expected me to network like crazy. Makes sense. That’s how you succeed. Everyone (except Secret devotees, who think all they have to do is Set an Intention) knows that’s how you get work or get business – you meet the right people. Thing is I was too exhausted to do that for about a month, because of my multi-state relo and because the house I was moving into needed a lot of project-managing as it was being readied for sale. I networked for about 3 hours/day, which is a far cry from what a truly hardworking person would do. I got some work from my networking. And a college called me out of the blue and said, “I found you online [on a faculty recruitment site I had posted and forgotten about two years earlier]. Can you teach two classes for us, starting in four days?” And I said, “Urk – yes, love to!”
Secret devotees would have paragraphs to say about that. My theory: the Universe decided I was supposed to work at colleges right now. I heard voices whispering in my ear about where I should apply and what I should do, and my body telling me that I needed to rest. I meditated a lot. Meditation is listening to the Universe. Meditation is shutting up the incessant “I want.” My fellow life coach Martha Beck, in her newest book Steering by Starlight, explains this very beautifully over the course of several glorious chapters. Buy her book – right after you buy mine.
My Theory
There is no one silver bullet that is The Answer. The Answer is a combination of attitude, courage, faith, patience, solid business skills (market research, product definition, qualified customers, etc.), intuition and a solid grounding in emotional maturity. The Answer is to pull all the pieces together into a synergistic whole that is greater than the sum of its parts. It is knowing that even if you do it all, and have the most positive, upbeat, heart-felt, dedicated approach to your business or other success-goal, and you visualize and totally believe in your outcome, it may still fail or under-perform, because of business factors that you didn’t consider, global trends you didn’t foresee and natural or political disasters that overwhelm entire regions or industries, or spiritual factors that are unknown and out of your control. And knowing that you will dust yourself off, learn the business, political or other lessons and make the right choices for your life - go back to a job; start another business; switch to a new goal - without resentment, envy or other corrosive residue.
When you get to the point where all outcomes are just outcomes, that’s when you will know that you are truly ready to be a success in your life – because you will already be one.